The rookie team of Apron Assault Squad had an understandably shaky showing on opening day. They were tauntless and untimately winless as the day wrapped up. Thankfully, they bought both a taunt and a win to the field on Thursday, but obviously those two words did not apply to each other in the context of Matt.
Matt thoroughly trounced AAS in the taunt department, featuring them in an episode of the well-known Belgian game show “What’s Under Your Apron!” The results were not pretty.
Even less pretty was the kickball game itself, which found Matt on the losing end of AAS’s obviously superior athleticism and newly found grasp of the rules of the game.
Taunt win: MATT.
Kickball game: Epic fail.
all these buttons! clicking! kickball nerds.
this is going to be fun.
June 2nd, 2009
What does Matt taste like?
Matt may be intimidating to the other teams on the WKL. This is understandable. Here are some fun facts that you can use to prepare you for your first encounter with Matt.
- Two Matts can have children, but those children are sterile and cannot reproduce.
- If you place a statue of St. Anthony on your home’s threshold no Matts will be able to pass, unless they invite themselves in.
- While it’s commonly known the name Matthew means “gift of the Lord” it is less commonly known the shorter version, Matt, means “All Devouring Flame that Spews Eternally from the Smirking Mouth of the Norse God of Anguish.”
- If possible, avoid eye contact with any Matt you meet. A Matt’s demonry can venture across invisible strings conjured from their very eyes. It’s also just considered bad etiquette.
- A kickball injection to the face administered by Matt can significantly reduce the appearance of lines and wrinkles
