May 8th, 2009 About Matt

Matt is one of the ten teams on the Westcoast Kickball League (WKL). The team was started in 2005 when Andy Pixel defected from Danger Moustache and started Hell Toupee. The following year, as Keytarded, the team knocked three-time champions Danger Moustache out of the playoffs and went on to finish 2nd in the league. The team became known for their taunts during the 2007 season as Space Tractor.

Last year, as Bluetooth Fannypack, the team won the “Spirit of the WKL” award for its use of beer, fireworks, nudity, flamethrowers, umbrellas, beer, party tents, megaphones, pornography, wading pools, fake mustaches, beer, and other fun things while deriding the opposition during the pre-game show. Bluetooth Fannypack was also the first recipient of the Taunt Championship trophy, a glorious yodeling unicorn on a pedastal which is rumored to have magical powers. This year, Matt intends to defend this title fiercely.

Matt has a full roster of Matts geared up for the best season of alternative kickball yet. This team has raised the bar high in seasons past the other teams in the WKL know this. For our many fans who are considering attending a game this year, Matt would like to recommend you bring safety goggles, raincoats, condoms, fire extinguishers, a healthy libido, and perhaps your attorney.

You, the reader, are encouraged to attend these games. Drink our beer, share in our cheers, join our dance parties. You won’t be alone.

Matt is here. Matt is ready. Matt will kick ball.